bravery without you

Dear Lloyd,

Yesterday I came home to find the chimney cap in the yard. The screws had rusted through. Today I started to climb up to measure so I could replace it, and what I found is that I am quite the coward without you here. All the times I patched the old roof while you held the ladder and told me what to do, I thought about the time you made me wear a harness thrown over the top and tied to the truck bumper before I found my roofing legs . I thought about how badly you felt about the blisters on my hands from trying to work the caulker with the tar in it. But that was a shingled roof. This metal roof is much harder to walk, even barefoot. Anyway, I chickened out, love, part way up, came in, and called to get an estimate. Who knows, tomorrow I might be braver, and there may be something on the internet about the best footwear for walking metal. But if not, this is one thing that I will pay to have done. Chores are not as much fun without you. I miss how you always seemed to know what to do when something broke. I just am not as smart as you were. But I am trying.